THE MAN RULES

After almost 13 years of marriage and this e-mail I just recieved, I have finally began to understand my man.

Here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " - ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1 . Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

ANYBODY KNOW ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET PRICE ON TIDE?

I just had to take a picture for everyone to see, even though Jason said "Nobody is going to care about that". Keep in mind that this is only 4 days of laundry. I just had to pile it up to see how big I could get it. Pretty sad - huh?

NOTHING CUTER

There is nothing cuter to me than to see my children sleeping. It is the only break I get. (HA HA!) I went to check on Keaton and found him sound asleep. How cute is he?

J-E-L-L-O

Pudding that is! Rigdon helped himself to this yummy treat and got it all over from head to feet!

THE NEXT DIVINCI

Mikala came home with this masterpiece from her art class at school. I was impressed. I couldn't draw something like that. Does it look like anybody you know?

CHRISTIAN DIOR - EAT YOUR HEART OUT

Walking down the staircase with a pouty pucker to her lips - here comes Gabriella Checketts in an amazing little ensemble she created herself. From her brown shirt overlayed by a hot pinked striped sweater to her underlay of navy blue polka dots right down to the faded turquoise pants - this is the fashion for the spring ladies. Take note - you will be seeing this on the cover of every fashion magazine. Can I wear this to school mom? Is it crazy outfit day? I think not.

GOT MILK?

Where's his mother? Probaly cleaning up one of his OTHER messes. What you can't see - the deliciously, chocolatey, oh so refreshing coating of powder covering the kitchen floor.